Talia Goshen
Mediation, facilitation and resolution of disputes
What exactly is mediation?
During the mediation process, I manage the crisis for you and mediate between you in a neutral manner.
I help you resolve the conflict in order to avoid, as much as possible, getting involved in unnecessary, lengthy and expensive legal proceedings.
Unlike legal proceedings in which the final outcome is determined by a judge or magistrate - in the mediation process I help you reach a solution that is agreed upon by all parties, a solution that is reached by agreement between you and not by one party forcing the other.
During mediation, I help you create a dialogue between you, understand your shared interests, and come up with creative ideas that will make the pie bigger for you, expand the solutions, and allow you to get more than you expected at the beginning of the conflict.
Mediation is especially helpful in cases where the parties in the conflict have had a positive relationship in the past or have an interest in maintaining a positive relationship in the future - for example, in divorce, when parents are required to cooperate in raising children even after separation, or in business disputes where the parties have an interest in cooperating in the future.
You who compromised my soul - Graffiti, 6 Shabazi Street, Tel Aviv 2021
Enabling is my term for the “soft,” unspoken discourse and nonverbal communication that occurs in the mediation room alongside the formal, technical mediation process. Enabling refers to everything that occurs in the mediation room and goes beyond words, conditions, and demands.
Ifshor was born not necessarily from the familiar professional mediation experience, but from the world of spiritual guidance and the practice of fearlessly remaining within the questions that arise, with inclusion and full listening.
Enabling is a process in which I assist in bringing the parties closer together by creating a dialogical discourse between them, by practicing awareness ("conflict awareness") and practicing active listening between the parties - all in order to enable the resolution of the dispute by agreement between the parties.
Enabling is a term from the world of the spirit and emotion - its practical meaning is creating an open and accepting space, enabling dialogue and yet completely safe for the parties in which a healing discourse can be created, allowing for fusion, connection and a natural transition to an optimal mediation process between the people in conflict.As a mediator who comes to mediation from the world of spiritual guidance, rituals, and expertise in crisis intervention, I offer a unique combination between the world of rules and the systematic technique of mediation and the world of guidance, spiritual therapy, and the use of tools from the spiritual world.
This combination of mediation and empowerment is the added value that I bring to the conflict resolution process.
This combination produces a protected, open, and supportive in-depth dialogue that runs parallel to the professional mediation technique, which is carried out according to the accepted procedures and laws in the field.
Benefits of mediation and facilitation
Mediation can be arranged literally from day one. Simply schedule a mediation meeting with the other party at the mediator's and resolve the conflict without getting involved in drawn-out legal proceedings, threatening letters with a lawsuit, and going to court.
An average mediation process lasts a few hours spread over a few days or weeks at most. This is in contrast to a dispute that has been going on for years in the courts.
The mediation process is much cheaper than legal proceedings. The cost of divorce mediation, for example, will range from 5,000 NIS to 20,000 NIS (depending on the duration of the process). This cost includes the cost of preparing a divorce agreement or a home peace agreement . This is compared to legal proceedings that cost tens to hundreds of thousands of shekels or even more.
In the mediation process, there is no need for preparations, submission of documents and position papers, not in the first stage and sometimes not at all. Mediation is built on dialogue between people, hope and optimism for resolving the conflict. This is in contrast to a legal process in which there is a conflict between the parties from the very beginning and, above all, it is necessary to produce and present documents and complicated and expensive paperwork to produce.
The legal processes that take place in the courts are open to anyone who is interested in learning about your details and facts. In contrast, everything that happens in the mediation room is confidential and will not be published outside the mediation room if you do not want it to be. This is of course a huge advantage for those who seek privacy and discretion and do not wish to share the details of the dispute with the public.
The choice of the legal route, the presence of lawyers, and the use of legal tools and language usually fix the parties. Each party entrenches its position and the dispute becomes more and more extreme. Very quickly, old resentments, anger, insults, rage, revenge, and other negative emotions arise. The process becomes alienating, and thus a snowball is created that unfortunately ultimately leads to exhausting legal proceedings until an irreversible verdict between those who were once spouses, business partners, or even good friends. The legal route emphasizes the differences between the parties, while enabling and mediation strengthen and emphasize the broad common ground between the parties. After we enable dialogue and build the common ground, a creative solution can be found that is agreed upon by the parties.
In conciliation and mediation, the parties decide, and no one else. This is unlike legal proceedings in which another person (a judge or magistrate) will determine the fate of the people, even against their will.
The adversarial legal discourse, by its nature, cannot accommodate the idea that cooperation will emerge from the dispute and the crisis. Enabling and mediation treat the crisis as an opportunity to improve the relationship for the better and even strengthen it in the future. The essence of mediation is to find creative, positive solutions that enlarge the pie, bring about a resolution of the conflict, and turn the lemon into you-know-what.